Philippians 4:13 -- bah humbag!!

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." 

This scripture is really irritating to me today.  Let me tell you why.  I'm a Marine.  Okay.  We've got that.  I've mentioned it a couple of times.  Well, being a Marine is extremely physical.  Everything we do is physical.  Being a chick and a Marine doesn't always line up, just because no matter what anyone tries to say, the reality is chicks are not as physically capable as men are.  (Hate me if you want, ladies, but it's true).  Sure we all know those onesies, twosies who are freaks of nature and keep up with the fellas phsycially, but for the most part, an average woman is not as strong physically as an average, or even below-average man.  There I said it.  Trust me, I hate to admit it as much as many women would hate to hear it but it's true. 

So why am I tripping on this now?  Well, the Marine Corps has a martial arts program called MCMAP.  It has belt levels much like civilian martial arts: tan, gray, green, brown and black.  Right now, I'm a brown belt which is pretty respectable.  I decide that I want to be a black belt for two reason:  One, I wanted to challenge myself; and two, there aren't that many females with black belts.  So I get clearance to go to through the black belt course.  It's a week long, all day.  It's super intense and extremely physical.  There are no other chicks in the class, just me and six big dudes.  Now to put it into perspective, we don't just learn the moves for black belt, but we have physical training, which includes running in flack jackets (if you don't know what that is, google it.  I don't have the energy or vocabulary to explain it), cammies and boots, doing extreme circuit courses, and then getting in the grass and fighting each other, sometimes with batons, sometimes unarmed, sometimes one on one, two on one, three on one, every man for himself, you get the idea.  The idea is to take you to your limit physically and then ask you to fight, much like a combat situation.  It's supposed to be challenging physically, mentally and emotionally. 

To say I was scared to go through this class is an understatement.  I knew I would be pushed to my limits and I was afraid of failing.  All I kept saying to myself over and over was "I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me."  Sometimes the emphasis was put on the "I can do all things."  Sometimes it was  "Christ strengthens me."  But it was always this scripture over and over, as I was running and wanted to quit, as I was fighting and getting my behind handed to me (and don't think for one second they went easy on me because I was a girl.  They didn't and shouldn't), as I felt my body getting stiffer and more sore, this scripture resonated in my brain.  As I got punched and kicked, kneed and beat with a baton, this scripture stayed with me.  I would not quit.

And then...my chest popped.  I could no longer lift my left arm.  I could barely breath.  I couldn't stand up straight.  I knew I was hurt.  BUT "I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me."  I refused to quit.  I continued to train.  Long story short, my instructor was forced to drop me for injuries.  To say I am disappointed is an understatement.  And what was my initial reaction?  To doubt the words that God promised me, to say, "See, Lord, I CAN'T do all things through You."  "You didn't strengthen me, at least not enough to get through the class." 

And then I realize, although God gave me the physical strength to get as far as I did in the class, the true strength that I needed, and that He so graciously provided, was the strength to NOT finish the class.  As hard as that class was physically, it was harder emotionally and spiritually to not finish.  My instructor looking me in the eyes and saying, I can not let your continue was the "thing" that Christ had strengthened me to do.  "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me," even face disappointment in a Christly manner.

Look deeper, brothers and sisters.  What are the "all things" in your life that you "can do" (or can't do) only through the strength that Christ provides. 

Till next time.  (Oh, and on a side note, because I had done all of the training, all of the sparring, and learned all the moves, the only thing left was the actual testing out for the belt, when I'm healed, I will be allowed to test for my belt.)